Rebecca was a beautiful sister, friend and daughter, so much loved by everyone. She was so warm and deft with people, and once you met her you never forgot her.
It was an almost unbearable task to plan a goodbye to her. Everything we thought we HAD to do felt so wrong. We so wanted her leaving to reflect her being. Rebecca was funny, light-hearted and paradoxically, although a gifted actor and writer, hated to be centre stage and make a fuss.
Once we had discovered Poppy’s, the experience was transformed. Because Rebecca had died away from home, we were faced with some practical challenges and the team at Poppy’s suggested that she could have a simple cremation in London. We were able to make more authentic decisions for the cremation and be very private in those initial weeks of our grief. The team at Poppy’s took time to get to know us and supported all our choices and guided us with such clarity and warmth. They explained everything that would happen in such a gentle way; they seemed to understand that almost every conversation at the time you either instantly forget or it is engraved forever in your heart.
What remains with me is the call Sarah made to say that Rebecca had arrived safely with them and they would take care of her. As her mother, I hated the idea that she was being transported about. It felt so clinical, but to feel she was tenderly welcomed made a huge difference. I felt so reassured that the last people to minister to Rebecca were clearly committed and deeply kind. Rebecca would have been friends with Sarah, I am certain of it! But most especially, I felt I was able to be fully present. I did not have my attention diverted by organising a service which, at the time, would have been almost impossible for us. We felt we could simply be with our precious Rebecca.
Rebecca arrived at the crematorium in the Poppymobile, which would have made her laugh, and without fuss and waste, which she also would have wanted. Three months after Rebecca’s death, we were able to have the most wonderful service for her. It was so moving and beautiful and joyous. I KNOW we could not have honoured her in this way if we had felt pressured to go the more traditional route.