Five minute read
Poppy’s is looking for freelance ‘on the day’ funeral directors to support our clients and join our team.
We asked one of our current ‘on the day’ funeral directors, Chloe Miller Smith (pictured above), to tell us about what the role involves, the support she receives, and what she finds most fulfilling about it.
What attracted you to this role in the first place?
A combination of things!
Most of the time, I work as a freelance arts producer and event manager and I love organising and managing events. I have also always been interested in marking life stages and have trained as a celebrant for weddings and baby-namings.
About a year before I saw the Poppy’s job ad, my dad died suddenly. I found his funeral really helpful. It was a good funeral. It felt like he was in it, and that it was right for him. I thought, if I could do for other people what the funeral director on the day had done for me and my family, then that would be something good.
I sent an email within a few minutes of seeing the ad. It's the fastest I've ever responded to a job opportunity!
What training did you receive when you first started?
After sending in my CV and having an interview, we had two training sessions at Poppy’s. At these, we talked through how things are run and how we might respond to certain situations. We also spent time in the mortuary, learning how to look after people there, as well as the practical skills of bearing and lowering.
Then I shadowed another Poppy’s funeral director at three different funerals. It was so interesting. The first one was in a Catholic Church, for an older lady. It was such a pleasure to hear about her extraordinary, amazing life.
The second was a cremation, and the third was for a younger person at a natural burial ground. There was a horse-drawn cart and family members wrote messages on stickers and attached these to the cardboard coffin.
Finally, I led on a funeral while another funeral director shadowed me, and then I was able to take on funerals on my own.
How do you prepare for each funeral?
We get a handover from the Poppy’s funeral director and a written briefing for each funeral. But you never quite know how the client is going to be feeling, until you call them before the funeral.
I find those calls incredibly important to give me a sense of who they are before I arrive on the day.
At first, I wondered how the client would feel about talking to someone new. But I've found that people feel so safe with Poppy’s generally — with everybody that they speak to or meet from the collection team onwards — that they trust me straightaway.
It’s one of the things that makes Poppy’s, Poppy’s — that you're held all the way through by familiar people.
Talk us through what you actually do on the day of a funeral.
Along with the Practical Lead on the day, we have responsibility of being the last person to look after the person who has died.
I’ll make sure they have the right clothes and items with them, and that they look as comfortable as possible. I’ll sort their hair out if there’s a strand out of place.
I’ll check the wristband and paperwork and do a last safety check that any pacemakers have been removed. Before we put the coffin into the hearse, I make sure that we’ve got the right flowers and that everything looks good. And that we leave on time!
When we arrive at the funeral, I often gently train friends and family in carrying the coffin or work with the freelance bearers who might be there. I check in with the celebrant or faith leader about the music, photos and how the ceremony will start and end.
After ensuring that everyone has found their seats, I tend to sit in or be close by. Sometimes during the funeral, I might be responsible for playing the music or other tasks.
At the very end, I make sure that the client knows that someone will be in touch — we’re not dropping them now. I think that the phone call or email that they get afterwards is so important.
What do you think makes a good ‘on the day’ funeral director?
I think if we are doing our job well, then most people won’t notice us.
We are there to support the families, the friends, whoever is closest to the person who has died, but, for everyone else, we hope that they think that everything's run smoothly, without thinking about us.
On the day, as a funeral director, you should always be able to be found when needed, but not be centre stage.
What’s helpful for you after a funeral, especially if there have been any issues or challenges?
At first, I would drive straight home after a funeral. But soon I realised how important the support of the team is. Now, if I can, I will go back to the office to have a cup of tea and a chat.
Just being able to talk about these things normally, with people who understand, is helpful. Of course, we're affected — I've made a deal with myself that if I stop feeling affected then I shouldn't be doing this job anymore — but we don’t have to carry it all. We can recognise what was tricky, acknowledge what we’ve done well, and then move on.
Being an ‘on the day’ funeral director with Poppy’s is a freelance role. How does that work in practice for you?
It fits well into my broader work because of the time scales — I will usually know what things look like three weeks ahead.
It was clear and transparent from the start that I couldn’t rely on a certain amount of work. On the other hand, while I do very much feel part of the team, I am not duty bound to take on every funeral I’m offered. If I can't do it, I can't do it.
The communication from Poppy’s about dates and details is always really clear. Right at the start, I usually get a brief idea of who the client is, the circumstances around their death and what kind of funeral they want. Both emotionally and practically, this is helpful to prepare me. There are no surprises, especially about a more complex funeral.
What do you find rewarding about the role?
Out of my whole portfolio of work, I most look forward to doing funerals. I know the impact that it can have if we can do our job well.
Even after a heavy funeral, I feel lifted. Not happy, but good that, when you do this well, someone can get what they need from it.
Find out more and apply to be an ‘on the day’ funeral director at Poppy’s.
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